I sighed. No matter how much I thought about it there was no way that I could ever forgive Dongwoon. Really! He made my days miserable when he was her boyfriend. How could I ever forget those days? How could I pass over my hatred? Yes, hatred! 'Coz only I know how many tears I cried because it was him the one who held her hand and not me. I never cared about popularity, but in her eyes that seemed to be important at that time.
"Can you see me now, Mi Rae? I'm far more popular than him!"I whispered while caressing the last article that was glued to one of my diary's pages.
"Mi Rae succeeds in signing a contract with NYC's ballet!"
So she managed to actually becoming a star herself, huh? That was good...maybe there was some other way to get to her. The something on the article drew my attention.
"2009? Why is this so old?"I mumbled.
"HYUNG!"Mir banged the room's door, making me jump and push the diary on the floor.
"What? Where's the fire?"
"We have a video call! Come! Come! Come!"he dragged me to the living room. "It's from Rain hyung."
I swallowed my saliva. I knew the reason behind his call. I threw G.O. a look and he nodded.
"Annyeonghaseyo!"we all greeded and bowed in front of the TV.
"How have you been?"
"Good,"I answered smiling. "How's the army, hyung?"
He sighed. "I wish no one would be forced to come here. Well, the training is ok, but...my handsome face got dark cercles!"he complained.
I laughed. "Now you know how I feel!"
"Yeah, yeah...anyway, I kinda hoped that if I call you, you'll let me see a preview of your comeback album. Can you?"
I looked at the boys. Thank God we started preparing the first song! "Wait a second. But hyung, you'll have to listen to an acapella version since we don't have the melody in here."
He nodded. I could sense his excitment all the way through the TV's screen.
"1! 2! 3!"
"Shut up, I don't even wanna hear it
Beg until your tears dry up
I will see the end of this, just watch
You messed with the wrong person
We were in love and I only had her
But why, why did you touch my girl - no way
I brush myself off and get up
As much as I suffered, you just watch
You mess with love, you mess with friendship - just watch
Just at the thought of you, my body shakes
I can't forgive you - from now on -
It's war, you coward - just watch
You made her cry again
You coward, you, who messed with my love
"WOW! I mean...just...WOW!"he said clapping.
"And this is only the first part of the song,"chuckled Joon. "You should see the choreography, hyung! Is DAEBAK!"
We all laughed.
"Why are you so excited, Joon?"
"'Coz he's the main in this MV. He and Thunder are our actors,"I replied smiling. "And they will be great!"
"So this is going to be your title song?"
"Yes. Because it's catchy and a lil' different from everything tha's on the market now."
"Says the one who wrote it,"laughed the boys.
I shrugged. "It's the truth."
And it was like I said. I knew it 'coz the song was my life story with a little fiction in it. The song was about me and Mi Rae and what Dongwoon did to us. Of course, it was a fictional story, but I wrote down my feelings about this love triagle of ours. Between me and Dongwoon started a cold war from the moment he laid his eyes on Mi Rae. And it continued through the last years, but under different forms since I couldn't remember him and his deeds.
But now she sends me to him. To forgive him. In order to find her I need to forgive him. Let's say I could do that. But will he be able to pass over his anger?
"Hey, Joon, how did you manage to drag him over here?"I heard Gikwang asking Joon as I sat on their couch.
I began laughing. "I head that, KiKi!"
"Sorry, but it's a premiere to see you in our dorm,"he mumbled while passing me a cup of hot tea. "I heard from Joon that Rain called you. How's he?"
"Aish that brat! He really can't keep his mouth shut, can he?"I muttered. "He's doing ok, I guess. He just called to check up on us and to see how we're doing with our album."
"And how's going?"
"KiKi, you know I'm not going to tell you, right?"I smirked.
"We alredy have 2 songs and we're waiting for him to sort out his lyrics to see if we have others,"spoke Joon with his mouth full of cake.
"You just didn't do that,"gasped Yeoseob entering the room and running towards Joon.
"What?"the latter replied, trying to swallow.
"You just didn't eat the cake that was in the frigde! Tell me you didn't!"
"Hi,"I greeded him, trying to adress him a smile. "What's wrong, Yeoseob?"I continued, turning towards the two boys.
"He ate Junhyung's cake!"
Silence. OK, so Junhyung's addicted to cakes. And so what? It's not like is the end of the world!
"I'll buy him another one. What flavour was it?"I said sighing. "And Joon, please keep your hands home!"
"It was short cheese cake,"answered Yeoseob turning around with sparkling eyes. "Thanks, Seung Ho! You really saved us!"
I smiled. "I'm going."
I was passing Dongwoon when I heard him say: "I'll come too!"
I looked at him surprised. "You know, you don't have too,"I whispered.
He smiled. "I want to."
I nodded and kept quiet. I wonder what reason he has. It's not like he suddenly wants us to be friends...I really hope not, 'coz only the idea is creepying me out!
"Thank you!"I said to the old lady that passed me the packet with the cake.
"Young man, please do your best with the new album,"she giggled.
Stunned. "You...you know who I am?"I whispered.
She just winked at me. "My whole family is a fan of yours. So keep up the good work, ok?"
"Thank you! Really, thank you so much!"I bowed before leaving the cake shop.
"You really are popular, Yang Seung Ho,"said Dongwoon, looking at me strangely.
"Thanks! I guess,"I laughed. "But I didn't expect that!"
"Yeah, but you managed to behave really well, didn't you?"he said on a awkward tone. "You know, all this time Beast was much more popular than MBlaq. No offence!"he quickly added, turning his face towards me. "But even so, if a poll was made, I think you would be the one who would win over me. You became so popular. And not only as MBlaq's leader, but also as a pianist. Even the elders know who you are!"
"Dongwoon, I may be popular, but I worked hard for it,"I mumbled looking down at my shoes. "I really did my best and everything I could in order to make my group shine. I never cared about my solo image as much as I cared about Joon's gooffing around and ruin MBlaq's image. Beast was from the very beginning very popular. We had to make outselves shine. You had members that were already popular because they were about to debut in other groups before Beast. But even now, when I'm this popular as you said, I still feel my heart flutter everytime a fan tells me to do my best."
He smiled. "You really are the Seung Ho that Mi Rae used to admire so much."
What was...what did he just say?!
"You know, I was alwys jelous on you. Mi Rae was always talking about you. Seung Ho did that...Seung Ho said that...Seung Ho thinks that...Seung Ho knows how to play that...She would always bragg about what you could do. And that bugged me. But i never told her that. 'Coz even if it made me angry, I was curious about you. How could you be the best in everything you did? That was impossible, I told myself over and over again. I always thought that it was her imagination talking."
I know. I should pity him. But how come his words gave me another feeling? Something weird was around him. A dark aura was being emanated. So I chose not to trust his words.
"Tell me, Dongwoon, did Mi Rae gave you something to pass to me?"I finally asked just as we entered Beast's dorm.
He smirked, showing me his white teeth. "Maybe. Maybe not."
I knew it! I just simply knew it! She gave him something, but he chose not to give it to me. That...Now how do I get my hands on that? How do I trick him to give it to me? How? HOW?!?!?!
"Hyung! You missed one note!"I heard Mir complaining.
"What's wrong?"asked Thunder.
"Is it about Mi Rae?"he whispered.
"You know, Joon is friend with Dongwoon. You can ask him to help you."
"How? I need something personla from him and I don't even know what it is!"
He thought about it for a sec while pretending to arrange the lyrics sheets. "Think about what she could have left for you. It should be something small, right? Something that you would recognize right away. Hyung, do you think you would recognize that thing if you'd see it in a room?"
I thought about it for a second. "I think I would. If it's hers I would definitely."
"Joon, what are you doing here?"I asked as he opened the dorm's room. "I don't think they're at home."
"You're right, Seung Ho. They have a schedule until late tonight,"he answered as we entered the corridor.
"The what are we doing here? This isn't right, Joon!"
"Gikwang asked me to bring him omething to SBS. He gave me the code,"he shrugged.
"But still,"I frowned,"what am I doing here?"
"Thunder said something about you needing something from here. Something about taking it without Dongwoon knowing about it. Do it! I will search for Gikwang's spare phone till then!"
And he left me there dumbfounded. This guy...ain't that stupid as we like to think!
I opened their bedroom door and peaked inside. How was I supposed to find something that I didn't even knew what it was? I sighed. "Breath, Seung Ho! Remember that's Mi Rae we're talking about here,"I mumbled as I opened the closet's door. But there were nothing but clothes. And some boxes. I took them out and opened them one at a time. One was Junhyung's. It was full of lyrics sheets. I didn't even looked at them. That was he's treasure and I had no right to read them! A second one was Gikwangs 'coz it was full with diets and natural drinks recipes. Then came the third one. It was quite old. I opened it carefully, because it was full of things. Small things like toys, old copybooks, bracelets and sticking notes were pilling up inside. All of them over a book with black covers...
"Anne of the Island
Lucy Maud Montgomery"
"I found you!"I smiled while looking at the book's cover.
"Hyung! Are you done?"called Joon from the corridor.
I hurried and put all the things back in the box, except for the book which I took it out with me. "Done! Let's go!"I smiled at him.
I stared at the book for many hours before opening it. I wondered why was I so peaceful when I practically stole it. Anyway! I did it, because Mi Rae left it for me and not for Dongwoon. And it was my right to have it...
"Let's see, pretty book, what are you hidding..."
And I read the whole book once again, 'coz Mi Rae made me read all of them in the past. It was her favourite and it soon became my favourite too. Two hours of searching for secret signs on every single page. Nothing. Not even an fingerprint of hers! Nothing...
"Now this is..."
But there it was. Gilbert's part was underlined with blue ink:
"I asked you a question over two years ago, Anne. If I ask it again today will you give me a different answer?"
An annotation was written on the right side of the book. It was Mi Rae's handwriting. Beautiful and blue...like her dreamy eyes...
"Tell me Seung Ho,would you give me a different answer this time if I ask you again that question?
He's always wearing a red vest. And he's the holder of one of my secrets. Search for him. He'll tell you everything..."
"C'mon, Mi Rae! Who's always wearing a vest?!"I asked while fliping the book's pages, looking for an explanation. "You can't give me a riddle like this one! I'm not good at solving them and you know it!"I complained to the book. "Aish..."
But then again, how difficult would it be to find a person that always wears a red vest?