The light was off, but I could not sleep. Her words keep playing inside my head as the images appeared in front of me.
“My right hand is a machine. That’s why I have super strenght when I use it and that’s why it sometimes hurt,”she continued her confession after leaving me shocked. “I’m an experiment actually. I’m the first human who’s body accepted the machine as a part of the metabolism…but I myself, could never put up with the thought that I have a piece of metal as a part of my body. Of course, it looks and acts like a normal hand, but…I don’t know if it’s just because I’m having pesimistic thoughts, but it hurts like hell sometimes! It hurts so badly, that I was prescribed powerful pills. I survived, Seung Hyun. I lost a part of me, of my own flesh and I survived. Of course, I had my black days and nights. I still do. But they all pass. Just like the rain,”she smiled as we listened to the crickets’ song. “That’s why I told you to get over it….because I know how it feels. I experienced the pain myself…”
I wonder how was she like before the accident? Did she changed much after she lost her hand? Did she felt the same way I did after Min Ji’s death:empty and on the verge of breaking down? Did she ever thought of commiting suicide? ‘Coz I did…And oh, so many times I almost jumped off from the balcony or hanged myself…
In my mind, I was already dead…
But no more. I was slowly coming back to life. And she was the one to blame…or to thank to?
The days came and passed. She acted the same way like she did before. No awkwards moments, no awkward silence. She was just…the monster that ‘owned’ me. And I was just…the fatto that had to obey her no matter what.
“Hey, buddy!”smiled widely a drunk GD one evening. “Wasssss upppp, ma man?”his arm encircled my neck, almost putting me down.
“Ugh! You’re drunk and you stink!”I pinched my nose. “And get off of me, Kwon Ji Yong!”I pushed him away.
“Oh whyyyy…you’re such a cold creature, ma friend,”he complained with the same silly smile on his lips. “Why are you so cold? Am I not your friend? Heck! I’m your best friend!”he frowned as he stumbled on his own feet. “I’m your best friend and yet…and yet…why can’t you just forget that Min Ji already? She’s dead, y’know?”
I gulped. I felt my anger boiling inside my veins.
“GD, I think you should go to sleep now,”I coldly said.
“Whyyyy? Can’t you take the truth?”he smirked, making me want to punch him. “She’s D to the E to the A to the D! DEAD!”he evily played with my mind.
“Shut up, Ji Yong! I warn you!”I hissed.
“Or what?”he cockly provoket me. “Or what?”
I clenched my fist. He was always doing that when he was drunk. Provoking was his own way to show his feeling…I just had to keep that in mind and he won’t get to the the hospital and I won’t go behind the bars.
“You know,”he started again,”you should stop being this cold to people around you. You push them away you know?”
I sighed. “GD…you should really go back to sleep.”
“Let’s take Ra Nae for example. You’re so mean to her, Choi Seung Hyun! And the poor girl did nothing from the very beginning but to save your depressed ass! Now, is that the way you treat the girl who likes you?”
I looked at him confused. “Likes me?”I mumbled.
“Oops!”he giggled. “Maybe I said too much! Aish…blame the alcohol in my veins please! I’m going to sleep,”he walked out of the room.
I listened to his heavy steps on the corridor. The others were already sleeping. Ra Nae was somewhere out in the barn.
“Likes me?”I whispered to myself. “What stupid plans did you make for yourself, Kwon Ji Yong?”
Ra Nae liking me…that was highly improbably. But then again, GD was my best friend he never lied about stuff like this. Aish! And what if she does like me? It’s none of my concern as long as she doesn’t confess! But what if she does? What if she makes me answer? Because of that contract I’m bound to offer her everything she asks for…AISHHH!
“I’m going to ask her!”I jumped on my feet and stormed outside the house with the flashlight burning up the darkness outside. “Yah…monster, are you in here?”I whispered as I puched the barn’s massive door open.
“What are you doing here, Tempo?”a voice accompanied the hand on my shoulder.
“AHHHHHHH!”I couldn’t help but to yell out my lungs. “YAH! JANG HYUN SEUNG! DO YOU WANT ME TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK?!”
He smiled slyly. “Maybe?”
I frowned. “What kind of answer is that?”
“Just. So, what are you doing here outside at this hour?”he questioned me, not letting me to enter the silent barn.
“I’m looking for Ra Nae. Have you seen her?”
“She should be sleeping at this hour,”he answered. “Go back inside! This is not a place for you to be.”
“What are you saying, Hyun Seung? That I’m not allowed to step inside the barn?”
A moment of silence. He was debating with himself wether or not to answer my tricky question. The sound of footsteps made us both attentive.
“Actually, no one is allowed in this barn accept for me and grandpa,”her voice came to us from the darkness that was inside. “So, will you be kind enough to tell me why are you standing there, yelling in the middle of the might like a pair of lunatics?”
“I came to see you,”I said, pushing away Hyun Seung’s hand.
“I came after him,”Pororo said, glaring at me. I could feel him through the darkness…BRRRR!
“You know, I don’t need company right now,”she laughed. “You should both go back to sleep now. I have some work to do and I’ll come in later.” Her steps were already distancing.
“I need to talk to you!”I called. Her steps stopped.
“Then c’mon in,”he voice called. I smirked.
“Guess you have to go inside alone,”I sliped inside the dark barn and followed the sound of her footsteps. It was all dark around me till a ray of light hit my eyes, making me frown. It was a room illuminated by a powerful yellow light.
“So, what do you have to tell me?”her voice came from behind the metal stuff, which I recognized to be an airplane’s engine.
“What are you doing with it?”I couldn’t help but to ask as I saw her with a screwdriver in her hand and all dirty from burned oil.
“This is my baby, EW40,”she smiled, caressing the cold metal with a smile. “I found it in a pile of junk and I’m trying to make it work. I think I almost got it…”
I looked at the engine. It wasn’t that that old…and it was definitely interesting to know that it was her who ‘rescued’ it from the junkyard.
“So? What do you want to talk to me about?”she asked as she checked something on a piece of paper. It was the engine’s plan.
“Oh? OH! Yeah…I wanted to ask you something…”
But I stopped myself. There was no way I could ever ask something like that!
“I’m listening here!”
I gulped. Oh well…it shouldn’t hurt or anything like that…
“Listen Ra Nae…do you…by any change…AISH! I don’t know how I should ask this,”I awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck.
“Just ask. I won’t bite. I promise!”she laughed, still not looking at me.