Brace Myself

I've seen it so many times.
I've been there so many times.
So many yellings. So many tears. So many voices calling the spirit to come back into this dead body of mine. So many slaps and hits and angry tones that made me shrug in the end and shirink in the corner of my dreams, away from the cold and damp weather...
So many fights.
So many calls in the middle of the night, sirens screaming from the top of their lungs.
And how I managed to finally grow up from all of that? How on Earth did I managed to leave without any trace and never look back?
I severed all the ties I had with this dying world. There's nothing holding me back, nothing calling me to turn around and surrender myself to the cold wind that seems to never stop himself from blowing it's cold shivers over my neck and spine...
And now there's that reflection...
Did I do it alright?
Was it good? Did it feel good? That cold, metal taste on your lips, that salty tast of the holy water that streamed down your face...was it good? Did you taste it? Did you feel it?
'Coz I haven't. Not even a drop of it. Not even a second of it. Not at all.
Have I turned into stone?
Have I turned ice-cold?
No.
It's just that I've suffered too much over too little shit lately. I've cried too many night when I should have smiled at the silliness of the stupidity that caught us both in a never ending circle. I've been there and I've done that already. So now there's nothing remaining for me to do here...not even crying. Not even regretting. Yes, I chose smiling over regrets, hapiness over questions...
That's plain stupid! What you do concerns only you now! Don't get me in your shit! Don't make me come over once again! 'Coz I'm tired of mute sounds and stone smiles.
My soul is ready for departure now...

Access denied to all the memories we've made...