"Seung Ho hyung,"greeded me Doojoon.
"Hi there! Nice of you to drop by here,"I snapped out of my daze and looked at the Beast members. "I guess Joon has lots of friends between the popular groups..."I continued pouring me a glass of water to calm down my nervs. "How has the promoting went in Japan? I tried calling Hyunseung so many times!"
Yoseob laughed. "It was...good. We were quite busy there and our manager told us to leave personal businesses for when we come back."
"I see."
Joon made them sign to join him as he pluged in the console's cable. I watched them sitting down in front of the TV as some sort of game started. Dongwoon, just when did you become so polite and unpopular?
"I'm going to my room,"I said, taking my bag in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. "Have fun guys!"
And I went to my room without looking back. I was feeling like a volcano inside. So close to erupting! And I really really didn't want to hit his face!
"Ok, Seung Ho! All you need to do is to stay in here and keep the distance to him until they leave. It's quite simple, isn't it?"I mumbled to myself as I turned on my laptop.Let's see..."
I wrote down in a Word document the lyrics I managed to put down while in Anyang. But then I remained staring into space...it still wasn't clear to me why was I so attached to Mi Rae. Was I in love with her back then? Was I having a crush for her? Was it only a puppy love? What exactly was I feeling back then? I tried so hard to bring to life those feelings that I ended up falling asleep I think. I thought of her so intensely that her figure appeared in my room, pale and nearly transparent.
"Are you a ghost?"I mumbled, seeing her shilhouette.
"What do you think?"she replied.
"I think you're not real. Am I dreaming? I must be."
"And you're telling me that dreaming means that it's not true?"she giggles, sitting on the bed.
I looked at her and annalyzed her facial expression. "I...don't know what to tell you. If it's a dream, my dream, then I think it's real."
"Then why shouldn't I be as real as your dream, if this is a dream?"
I frowned. "Because you're in USA! There's no way you would be here right now, at this very moment! It's simply impossible!"
"Don't you think our relationship is a little more deep?"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you think we have that kind of twin-relationship? That we can break the barrier of time and space?"
I thought about it for a second. "No. I don't believe in those kind of things. And plus, if I would believe in it, it still wouldn't be the answer, 'coz we broke the bond we had so long ago. And you know it."
She adressed me a sad smile. "Is that so, Seung Ho?"
"No. Please don't be sad, Mi Rae,"I heard myself saying while strechigin my hand to tounch her cheek. But I stopped."Then tell me, what are we then, Mi Rae? What exactly are you for me? And I for you? What do we have now?"
"You're not the same,"she spoke after watching my reaction.
"No, Mi Rae. I've grew up. I forgot about you and grew up without your memory. Now I remember you, but I can't understand myself from back then. I really can't! And I don't think I'm still the same here,"I added, touching my chest.
"Oh..."
And we sat in silence for a while. I frowned realising how rude I was.
"Maybe you're right. Maybe you did grew up. And maybe your feelings got lost somewhere on the way,"she said while playing with her fingers.
"I...grew up? How about you? Haven't you got over this?"
She looked me in the eyes and I felt chills go down my spine. Those icy-blue eyes...
"No. If it's about you, I haven't grew up at all! I'm still the same. Still the same strange little girls that was hidding from the kids in her closet just because they didn't liked her eyes. I'm still the same little girls that wishes for her best friend every time she sees children playing in the park. I'm still the same. And I believe that our relationship is still the same. Through distance and time, we're meeting a half of the way."
"I don't believe so, Mi Rae,"I frowned. "I think this still is a dream in which you came again to torment me!"
"Seung Ho..."
That was it! And she once again tied me to her!
"Seung Ho...Seung Ho...Seung Ho hyung!"
Hyung? When did she began calling me 'hyung'?
"HYUNG!"
I opened my eyes. "MIR!"I exclaimed, falling from the chair.
"Aigoo, hyung! You fell asleep while writting the lyrics? You're such a baby!"he laughed, helping me up.
"What do you want, Mir?"I glared.
"Joon wants to know if you ant to come with us up on the roof. We're planning a BBQ and Junhyung is bringing some soju with him."
"You shouldn't be drinking, Mir,"was all I could say.
He rolled his eyes. "That's what you said last time too! But that didn't get in your way in Volume Club, has it?"
"BBQ you say, huh?"I mumbled, trying to get over my stomach's sounds. "Ok. I'll come!"I decided.
~*~
"Seung Ho, you should really go downstairs now,"whispered G.O, poking my shoulder.
I shook my head and poured me another glass of soju. "Go away, Byung Hee! I need to drink away my thoughts!"
He gave me a strange look and left me there at the table alone. But then again, I wasn't alone as I thought...
"Yo!"
I glared at the newcomer. I opened my mouth to say something, but then I decided to ignore him. He was not worthy to listen to my insults!
"What? Cat got your tongue?"he smirked, emptying his glass. "I never thought I'd get to live this day! I and Yang Seung Ho, the school's piano prodigy drinking together! Hehehehehehe..."
I shot him my famous glare.
"What? Don't you think this is something that's worthy of being immortalized?"
"No,"I huskily replied, getting my attention back to my glass.
"Why no?"
I was drunk, ok? I was so drunk that his simple presence was making me see red before my eyes. I was sooooo drunk that I no longer distinguished the present me from the past one.
"Why not, Seung Ho?"he insisted, staring at me.
"Look here, Son Dongwoon! I don't like you. Is that enough?"
He began laughing. And he was laughing like crazy! "No longer everyone is afraid of you! And no wonder she decided to leave you!"
"She? Who are you talking about?"
"You know,"he whispered looking around us. "Mi Rae. Choi Mi Rae."
My blood was boiling in my veins. "You little...-!!! How dare you talk about her in front of me?! How dare you say her name with your dirty lips?! HOW DARE YOU BRING HER UP IN FRONT OF ME?!"
I huffed and puffed. The a thought cross my mind: why not getting up and leave him there? Seemed like a good way to start! I stood and tried to leave when he cought my arm, pulling me back.
"You'll stay. I always wanted to tell you this. But you seemed so carefree, that I didn't mind keeping all for me. But you shall listen to me tonight,"he said on a rough tone. "You'll listen to what I have to say, Yang Seung Ho! I swear that I'm so drunk I wouldn't keep myself back from hitting you...!"
Silence. Was this punk trying to provoke me? 'Coz he managed this pretty good!
"Mi Rae...such a resonating name. Isn't it?"he smiled, looking at the soju bottle.
"Cut the crap!"I hissed.
"She was glowing when I first saw her,"he continued as if he didn't heard me. "Glowing. I still remember her outfit she was wearing that day: a dark blue dress and a white velvet ribbon in her black hair. She at me with her blue eys and I felt my world stopped spinning for a sec. She was...breath taking! And then I looked at my girlfriend who was supposed to be the most beautiful girl in the school and I saw nothing else but ugliness. That's when I realized I had to get close to her. which I did. I did it, Seung Ho, even though I knew you were in love with her. I saw you two. Acting all lovey-dovey, making people believe you were nothing more than best friends! I saw that! And I knew that if she'd realize the feelings between the two of you I'd stand no chance. But you were too slow, Seung Ho. So I made my move. She left you behind, didn't she?"he adressed me a mocking smile. "Well, she didn't take my hadn either. She walked next to me all the time, but she was never really there. She was always next to you. Yeah, you! You, Seung Ho, were the one that was keeping her soul in the palm of your hand. You and not me. But no more,"he smirked. "This time...this time...I'm the one who left you without her..."
His head fell heavily on the table as sleep took over him. Was he that drunk? And what did he mumble there about? His feelings for Mi Rae? My feelings for Mi Rae? Our feelings for her? I didn't understood the meaning behind his words, so I stood. The wind moved my hair and touched my heated skin.
"I was in love with her."
No comments:
Post a Comment