Monday, March 26, 2012

chapter 16 ~~ Silently It Became Outloud

"Do you love me?"
I gulped. "Love? What's that, Min Ah?"I carefully asked, watching her reaction. Her eyes widened and turned black in an instant. No more blue in them and no more warmth. Just a strange feeling that she was drowning inside...
She stood from my arms and took her place on the window sill once again. "Love is...what defines humanity. Love is a something that grows warm inside of you, that spreads inside of you quickly, before you can do a thing to stop it. It's the most powerful power in the world. Controlling the four elements of the nature, telepathy, telekinesis, stuff like that are children games in front of true love,"she spoke as she looked out the window. "It is the only link that keeps you tied to this world when everything around you spins fast enough to make feel sick. Love is everything to this world...but then again, I guess you don't know that since you're already dead,"she added, turning her head to me.
I sighed as I read her expression. She was calm, but her smile was saying what words couldn't have said. "I see now what you mean. I'm sorry that there are no human feeling residing inside of me. Love seems a worthy feeling for a vampire,"I smiled as I stood. "I'll go now. Don't hesitate to call me if you need anything, ok?"
She nodded and I stepped outside her room even though I knew that even if the house would have been set on fire, she would have never called my name.
I wondered around the town with the same image inside my head and before my eyes. I didn't see the streets full of people and I barely noticed the kids that were playing in the park. All I could see and hear was Min Ah's face and voice. She was constantly present in my mind. Her small figure dancing like a swan on the dirty lake of my mind, her smile that made me feel so giddy inside. Yes, I was in love with her. I loved her beyond imagination and the so called theory about this noble feeling. Why did I tell her that? Because I was afraid. Afraid that she might disconsider me for loving her, afraid that she would reject my feelings, afraid that everything that was happening between us was going to die in a second. I didn't risked our friendship because of fear. It was like wolf, lurking around me and making me feel insecure and worried all the time. Did she ate? Did she drink the tea I left for her? Aren't there too many customers for her to handle on her own? Is she feeling weak? Are her hands trembling? Is she...thinking of me?
"Aish! Why is this so difficult?!"I mumbled, messing my hair.
"Mister! Mister!"called a childish voice near by.
I turned around and there was a kid looking at me. His ball was at my feet. It was a red ball with black polka dots. "Me?"
"Yes you. Could you please pass me that ball, mister?"
I took it in my hand and walked over to him. "Here you go, big guy,"I smiled as I handed him the ball.
"Thank you!"and he ran away.
I watched him running towards a girl with blonde hair that was crying on a swing. He placed the ball in her lap and gave her a tight hug and a peck on her cheek. At first, I only saw the cheezy moment that I often saw in those TV dramas. But then I saw the meaning behind his gestures: 'Here you go! I brought the ball back as I promised you, haven't I? So stop crying! I'm here, can't you see? I'll protect you!'
I turned around and left the place confused. For them, it was simple. They had their whole life ahead to break or fulfill that promise. I, I had nothing left. She had little time left. Maybe my feelings were not to express in words, but they were living inside of me, burning like a torch...
I looked at the sky. Thunder sat next to me, throwing playfully stones in the water.
"You know,"she began,"I think my sister is dying."
I turned to look at him.
"I know,"I said. "It's my fault."
He stared at me. "No. It's all her doing. She got weaker day by day. One day she lost her balance, another one she lost her consciousness. I knew there ws something wrong with her, but I never did ask. And now, the fire gave her a motive to die in peace."
"No,"I heard my own voice, sounding all strange and like a stranger's to me.
"She won't die."
"Seung Ho..."
"I won't let her die!"
I looked at my clenched fists, realizing that I had to do something before it was too late. "Sorry Thunder, but i think I love your sister,"I said as I stood with a fool's smiled on my face.
"You finally realized it?"he chuckled.
I smiled at him and speeded off towards her place. My place. Our place...
"Min Ah?"I called as soon as the door closed behind me. "Are you home, Min Ah?"
The house was quiet. No sound disturbed the strange silence. Her beating heart...I searched for it...and there it was, beating slower than before. I ran up the stairs and barged inside her room. She was lying on the bed, her hands behind her, her eyes closed, her pale skin...
"Min Ah..."
I took her in my arms and shook her gently. "Min Ah! Kwon Min Ah!"
She opened her sleepy eyes. "What? Where's the fire?"she tried to smile.
"I won't let you die! I won't ever let you die!"I pulled her to my chest. "I love you and I won't ever let you go where I can't follow you! Do you hear me?"
I pushed her to look into her eyes. The light in her eyes was much more brighter as if her whole soul was back in her, illuminating her whole being. Her brown eyes had the same hints of blue that I saw in the morning. She was...
"'s true?"she whispered.
"I love you."
"Tell me once more, please."
"I love you. I love you. I love you,"I kissed her cheeks, her forehead and her nose. "I love you, Kwon Min Ah,"I gently pressed my lips against hers.
I don't believe in things like the magic of love or stupid things like that. But when my lips met hers, a warm light came out of her body, surrounding both of us with it's strange power. It was all her. The light, the warmth, it all came from inside Min Ah. What kind of unknown force lived in her, I did not know at that point. But I was bound to find out later on...
"I loved you since ever,"she whispered as her now rosy cheek was pressing agains my own.
Since ever...I loved you too...

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