Saturday, March 3, 2012

Once upon a red tree's leaf

Chapter 29:~~Set myself on fire

Hours passed by quickly. Days few away easily. Weeks marked with red on the white calendar...the last month and the last part of the trial. The verdict of judge Kwon.
I took a deep breath as I rubbed the back of my head. The bed sheets were messy and they were keeping the form of my sleeping body as if it was provoking me to get back in his warm embrace and let the slumber take over me and my mind. But I turned my eyes and the so called spell broke. I entered the bathroom and turned on the cold water. A cold shower always helped me clear my head. And man, I sure had a lot more than that to clear!
As the cold water embraced my body, my thought began wandering back to the last few weeks. They were the most hateful weeks I ever spent. Maybe not as dark as those I spent after Mi Rae's departure, but close lawyer, Mi Rae's father, did more than I ever expected. He left the other party speechless with his arguments and even judge Kwon had to approve his evidences at some point. My role was small. All I did was to testiy. And that was all. Then mrs. Choi came and answered to her ex-husband's questions without being oversensitive. She told them the truth about the so called marriage and she expressed her sincere wish about Mi Rae's divorce. But even so, I was still having a strange feeling. After the monster inside of me died, doubt came to me and started making me feel unconfortable everytime I was inside the trial's room. I was feeling...guilty? Why? I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe because Dongwoon began looking really pale and so soft spoken that everyone kept on wondering if he was the real culpit in all this story.
I stopped the water and stepped outside the shower. With a towel around me I left the bathroom. My phone was ringing.
"Yeoboseyo?"I answered on a tired tone.
"Seung Ho!"
I rolled my eyes. I felt pain making is way to my head, but I didn't hang up. "What's up, Dongwoon?"
"Man, please, I'm begging you, don't do this to me! Please! I...she is everything I have on this world! I don't care about anything else if I don't have her to smile around me, if I don't hear her breathing at least once in a while. My world Seung Ho, my world will start crumbling...please, don't ruin me!"he pleaded.
I sighed. I could hear him crying on the phone. But he was trying to hide it from me. He was be a real man.
"Dongwoon, I'm sorry. But here is not about you. Nor about me. It's about Mi Rae's happiness. And I can't have you play around with her heart or happiness like you did in the past. So no, I won't stop until I get her divorce. Goodbye now. See you in court. And Dongwoon?"
He sobbed.
And I hanged up on him. Goodluck? Was I really wishing him goodluck? 'Coz that would mean that I would lose to him...
If I were to go back to that grey door, then I would probably know instantly that it wasn't going to be a good day for me. Starting from my lawyer's call...
"Seung Ho, judge Kwon delayed the meeting. So it should start around 7pm tonight,"I heard his voice as I put him on hands-free.
" you think it's a good thing?"I asked as I pulled over and parked the car in front of the mall.
"I don't know. You heard about the trial that was before ours?"
"Well, it seems that the woman began threatening her husband with a gun and now wants to jump off the court's roof. Crazy, isn't it?"
"She was pretty shooken when he brought in his mistress, so I guess this is her reaction to that,"I tapped my fingers against the steer-wheel. "Then I guess I have to go back to the dorm..."
"Rest, Seung Ho. You sound really tired. And Seung Ho?"
"Don't talk to Dongwoon, ok?"
And he hanged up, leaving me with a big question mark...
I looked at the white ceiling and started drifting away in my own thoughts. I started questioning my own decision. Was it really a good thing to break those two's marriage? Was I even right to take the title of her tutor? To take decisions instead of her? To change her life even if she was no longer conscious?
I began doubting again and again. My mind was dizzy from all the pros and cons thoughts that were running inside my head. I was doubting myself this time. And I was afraid of her. Because, if she were to wake up one day and tell me that she loved Dongwoon, then...then what would I do? After ruining her life in her sweet slumber, I think I would go crazy. So, what would the best solution be?
"Yeoboseyo?"I answered, absent-minded.
"Seung Ho..."
"Why are you calling again, Dongwoon?"I sighed.
"I'm sorry, Seung Ho. For everything. For going after Mi Rae when you were the only one that knew her well enough to be so close to her, for going out with her, for forcing her mom to give her to be my bride, for...for going out with Hara while being married to that angel. I'm sorry! I would do anything to take everything back...but I can't, Seung Ho! I can't because it's who I am! Loving her is a part of me. Knowing she is mine is the most wonderful miracle this world made possible for me! I...I love her. I don't want to lose her. But Seung Ho, I...I love Hara too! She's like fire, burning inside of me, growing even bigger as I leave it unsupervised. She so different from Mi Rae...but still! I cna't breath without the two of them! I simply can't!"
I clenched my fist and watched at it. "Dongwoon, what you're telling me right now sounds so sick! There's no way you can love two persons at the same time! Never! And how can you ask me such a thing when you already have someone you love? When you have Hara? Do you think she will approve this? Will she accept to be with you when she knows she has to share you with another woman? Think about it for a while, Dongwoon!"
"What do you think Mi Rae would think about this if she'd knew about you betting in her life and taking important decisions for her?"he asked as id he read my thoughts, as if he knew my inner fights.
"Bye, Dongwoon!"
Yeah, what exactly would she say about all of this?
"All rise!"
We all stood as the judge entered. He was a middle aged man with a strange way of thinking.
"We all gathered here to hear the verdict I have to give in 'Yang Seung Ho against Son Dongwoon' case,"he spoke as soon as he sat. "I have to tell you this,"he continued, looking at each and every single one of us. "I thought about this more thant I ever did in my life! This case seemed so simple at first sight, but now I know it was nothing like that! Why? Because I'm going to decide the happiness of two men and not only that. There's a woman in the middle and you, like vultures, are fighting over her. Poor woman! Maybe it would be better for her if she never opens her eyes again...Anyway! I'm not here to have a philosophical speech, so I'm gonna ask you this before saying the verdict: is there anyone who would like to say anything else before I bring this case to an end?"
I felt his eyes piercing holes through me. And I stood before I could think...
"Yes, mr. Yang?"the judge asked politely.
My lawyer was making me signs to sit. Dongwoon was too absorbed to look at his own hands. His lawyer was smirking. And the judge was just waiting. So many faces...
I took a deep breath. "I would like to withdraw charges."

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