She sat across the table and wrapped her fingers around the cup while bringing her knees up to her chest.
"Today...this day...is the day that will forever remain in my memory no matter what. I think that it will remain vivid in my head even if I reborn in some other time and place,"she started, looking only at her fingers turning white around the cup of tea. "It's the date on which I killed someone,"she continued, slowly raising her head to look me in the eyes. "You see, you never know where life leads you to. You can't tell your future just by looking into someone's eyes. All that about seeing your future life next to the one you love is just bullshit! You can't see anything! You're merely thinking about the present, set aside the future...and you could never tell that your life will take a sudden turn, throwing you up and down like a rollercoaster. Worst than a rollercoaster I'd say."
She stopped her monologue and took a sip of warm tea. Then she took a deep breathe and prepared for the confession of her life:"I met him when I was in my senoir year in high school. He was a freshman. At first I didn't pay attention to him. I had my head full with the final exams, university hunting and so on. But he sticked close until I started noticing him for his manners and his attention to me. We began going out in the spring. I clearly remember the bloosomed trees and the couples that were walking in the park...we were not that different from the others:we went on dates, we kissed at the cinema, we went to the aqua-park. We were still a couple when I entered university. My parents and his parents agreed to buy us an apartment and we moved together. That's when it all begin. He started to be jelous on everyone around me. Not to mention that he couldn't stand me talking to other boys aside from him! I thought that he loved me too much and I kind of felt honored? I don't know what to say now, 'coz if I look back I realize that I never loved him though..."
Another sip of tea. "I remember that evening. It was at the party after his graduation. I was wearing a green laced dress and was all smiles. After all, my under age boyfriend was no longer under age and neither a high schooler. I don't know what I did wrong that evening. All I know is that when we got home I was a little bit tipsy. He began shouting about me flirting with everyone in the room. That's when I received the first palm in my life..."
Another sip of tea. "And that's how it began. My life in Hell. He made a habit to hit me every single time he believed I did wrong in front of him. And believe me, I was wrong most of the time! Don't ask me why I endured all of that. I couldn't tell you the reason, 'coz there isn't one. I think I was attached to him in a bad way. He began drinking and the beating continued as well. And everytime it ended with rough sex. My mind was drifting apart as well as my body. I don't remember clearly how I managed to finish the university and take my diploma..."
Another sip of tea. It was starting to get cold. "But it got worse. The real Hell began when he discovered his powers. You see, he had the power of telekinesis. And how he loved to wake me up by throwing the bed out on the window from the fifth floor! How he enjoyed seeing me fight against the things that came to me flying al of a sudden. I had enough, I really did! But then there was this party we attented. He behaved like a watchdog all night and when we got home he unleashed all his wrath. It was like the whole apartment turned against me and every little thing inside of my house began hitting me...that's when I knew it. I couldn't stand it anymore and I had to do something. Since running away was not an option I knew I had to do something more extreme..."
The tea was really cold now. But it didn't matter. "He was sleeping soundly beside me. Every inch of my body was throbbing in pain. I got down from the bed and went to the kitchen. It was the breaking of dawn and there was little light in the apartment, but even so I easily found what I needed. Second drawer to the left. The hammer with which I was usually preparing the schnitzels. A heavy and old hammer...He was still sleeping. I raised my hands above my head and stood like that for a couple of seconds, contempling his sleeping features. I smashed his head. Again and again. The hammer cracked open his skull and I couldn't stop myself. The blood...there was blood everywhere:the beautiful wall with red flowers painted on looked like a battlefield;the sheets were like a bathtub of blood;my clothes were soaked in blood too. But I had to make sure that he was dead. So that he wouldn't touch me ever again...never again..."
The window was silently washed by the rain that started to fall not long ago. "Today is the day when I kill him over and over again,"she said with a sad smile on her lips.
There was no more tea for her to drink.
I stood and silently walked to the cooker. I put the kettle on the cooker and prepared the herbs. Soon, the kitchen was filled with their flavour. I poured the hot tea in her cup.
"What was his name?"I found myself asking as I took my place.
I watched her sleeping face. She fell asleep while crying in my arms. Her consciousness wasmaking her feeling way too guilty! The way she acted...I couldn't blame her for wanting to get rid of such a guy. And he deserved every single hit he got from her. I would have done the same thing as her if not even worse. But wait a second! I was a monster who enjoyed bloody murderers and she was a plain human. Then, what was the feeling in my chest? Something between wrath and simpathy.
"I feel sorry for you, Kwon Min Ah. I wish I could do something to take away your nightmares about this date,"I whispered while she sniffed in my arms.
I sighed. A knock at the front door made me listen carefully. The rain was still pouring outside, waching the street and everything else...
"Please enter,"she whispered in my arms.
I looked at her. The front door creeked...Footsteps close by...
I moved Min Ah a little so that I could block the eventual attack.
"Noona?"called a voice.
Min Ah moved on the sofa. Her eyes were wide open. And there were shades of blue mixed in her big, brown, doe eyes...